Miles To Go

J.D. Salinger died the week that I preached about praying practical things.  (No, I never prayed that J.D. Salinger would die!  Why would you think that?) 

The text I have been drawing from is the Lord’s Prayer recorded in Matthew chapter six.  Jesus tells his followers to pray for “today our daily bread.”  What about world peace?  What about disaster relief?  What about pandemics?  Jesus was much more down to earth.  Apparently God is not too busy to listen to my trifles. 

J.D. Salinger did not make a big impact on me, but one thing from his book (he only wrote one – right?) stands out.  It is the word “phony.”  Salinger’s over-funded and under-motivated adolescent protagonist hates all things phony.  By the end of the book I began to hate the much-repeated word.  I think part of Salinger’s appeal to the masses is in their common disdain for hypocrites. 

Jesus agrees.  His ranting against hypocrisy is well documented in the Scriptures. 

I started thinking about hypocrisy in relation to my prayers.  Is it possible that I want to pray lofty prayers (not practical ones) because it is easier?  It is much easier to pray for disaster relief in Haiti than it is to pray for the disaster that is sometimes my life.  It is easier to pray for my friends needs than it is to realize my own need.  It is easier to pray for my relatives salvation instead of my own sanctification. 

With that in mind, I have come up with phony list.  See if any of these resonate with you, or add your own.  I am a prayer phony when:

• I keep something from God, as if he doesn’t know already.
• I pray that other people will realize how wrong they are (and how right I am).
• I say that I will pray for someone, then forget to do so. 
• I pray for the performance of professional athletes.
• I pray that my friend realizes the destructive path he is taking (but ignore my own bearings). 
• I pray that my children learn something at church (but fail to pray the same for myself).
• I don’t pray until I’m in public.
• I do not ask for strength to overcome a recurring sin.
• I do not ask for forgiveness daily. 
• I pray for patience (but I really want the problem to just go away).

• It is the subject of over 2,300 Bible verses. 
• Jesus talked about it more than any other subject. 
• It affects the lives of everyone in my church. 
• Marriages break up because of it. 
• Siblings stop speaking because they fight over it. 
• It has an entire section in the newspaper and segment in the news.
• Everyone has an opinion about it
• People spend their lives searching for it.
• It corrupts people.
• It blesses people.
• It is the root of all kinds of evil . . .
• And I am scared to death to preach about it!

What is wrong with me?  Any other subject as weighty as this would be aggressively tackled by any respectable pastor.  Yet every January I try to summon the courage to preach just a couple of sermons on this topic. 

Perhaps part of the problem is all the baggage that the Church has created for itself by spending more time taking money from people than giving grace to them.  We have all heard the accusation, “All the church wants is your money.”  For that reason I spent the first decade of my ministry NEVER talking about money – not a single sermon on the subject.

But how do I call myself a biblical preacher when I completely ignore a subject so prevalent in the Bible?  Three years ago I came to this conclusion – I can’t ignore it anymore.  So I delivered my first sermons on money with my body so tense that my ears were begging my shoulders for personal space.

I get push-back every year.  People say money is a personal thing and I shouldn’t preach about it.  What biblical issue isn’t personal?  People say that the congregation will dwindle if I talk about finances.  Yet we keep growing slowly but slowly.

The main problem is me.  I know it is the right thing to do.  I know that people need to hear what the Bible says about money.  I know that money is a spiritual issue.  I know that we would follow Jesus and lead better lives if we adopted biblical attitudes and habits concerning money.  Yet I still do not look forward to money sermons.  What is wrong with me?

When Moses first confronted Pharaoh to set the Hebrews free Pharaoh had an interesting response.  He asked, “Who is the LORD, that I should obey him and let Israel go?” 

Who is the Lord?  Pharaoh didn’t ask this question because he was an atheist.  Pharaoh wasn’t an atheist.  In fact, he believed in many gods; he was a polytheist.  Pharaoh believed that you serve whatever god you need to serve to get the things that you want to get. 

Moses was not a great public speaker, but he did not need to do much talking.  God let his plagues do the talking over the next few weeks.  It was a message that would cripple the most powerful nation on the planet and motivate them to avoid Israel for hundreds of years.

Not many people believe in the same gods that Pharaoh believed in some 3,500 years ago but there is still a strong belief that whatever religion you follow is good if it gets you what you want out of life.  It’s not that people don’t believe in God, it’s just that they are not sure whether to spell it with a capital “g” or not. 

Christians still face this same question from skeptics, “Who is your God/god that I should obey him?”  Sometimes we stammer a little when faced with this question.  But God has already answered it.  He came, lived, died, and was resurrected as an answer to that question.  This is why Jesus said things like “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” 

There will always be little pharaohs who stubbornly follow whatever god they think will serve them best.  Our culture is not more enlightened than ancient Egypt in this matter.  But in an ironic twist, it is the “whatever” crowd that now needs to be set free from slavery. 

This is more preachy than most of my blogs, but the religion of “whatever-ism” needs to be preached against just as the narrow way of following Christ needs to be promoted.  How do promote the narrow way in a whatever world?

Dear Personal Trainer,

I’m so glad we are working together to improve my overall health.  I have looked over the personal fitness schedule you created for me and think it is excellent.  Of course from time to time there may need to be some exceptions to the exercise and eating plans you have so meticulously documented for me. 

For instance, I go on vacation for two weeks over the summer.  I would love to follow your schedule during those weeks, BUT I find it impossible to be rigid all the time.  So, on vacation only, my diet will consist mostly of Chipotle and fried foods while my exercise will be limited to shorts walks with the dog.

I also have a very social job.  A couple of times a week I must eat meals with people or families.  Your meal plan is excellent, BUT I wouldn’t want to be rude. So I will not be following strict guidelines during those meals.  Oh, and I often feel bloated after a large meal, so exercise will not happen the day afterwards.

As their primary caregiver, I get to spend a lot of time with my children.  I think your daily exercise plan is well thought out, BUT there will be many days (especially over the summer) when I will be caring for them instead of following the fitness plan.

Holidays are very important to me and often involve food.  Thanksgiving, in particular is epic and should be seen as an indulgence.  I do not think I should use this as an excuse to neglect caring for my body, BUT these days only come around once a year.  Other important holidays include: Christmas, New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Inauguration Day, Presidents Day, Washington’s Birthday, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans’ Day, my children’s birthdays, my birthday, and pastor appreciation week.  Note that not every holiday listed above comes every year, and President’s Day/Washington’s Birthday overlap with my daughter’s birthday so three separate exceptions will not always have to be observed.

Good health is the hope and goal with all of this fitness planning, BUT I think it is naïve to think that I will not occasional become ill.  Those months will be obvious exceptions to the schedule that you have carefully planned.  I would also be remiss if I did not mention my aversion to extreme weather (both hot and cold), so outdoor exercise is out during the hot and cold months of the year.

I will try to adhere firmly to your suggestions, BUT emergencies happen.  Sometimes cars must be repaired, children must see the doctor, pets get sick, and friends cook large pots of chili (which often creates a second emergency).  These are unavoidable life moments that could briefly interrupt my training.

Upon analysis I believe it is realistic if I plan to follow your diet and exercise schedule one week in February and at least three days every other month (non-consecutive) until the major holidays hit in November.  There is a chance that I can add a few days in October, provided the flu season does not take its toll on me or my family.

Thank you so much for your help.  I’m looking forward to the great results that will come from hard work and dedication to your plan.  I want you to know that I am committed to seeing this through as a lifestyle, year after year.  I will not back down or quit just because things get hard.  You will be my inspiration and motivation to turn my life around, become healthy, and feel great about myself.

Sincerely,
M@

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maqOpMXnDjQ 

Today’s message was on Legalism.  I love this video but didn’t have time for it this morning. 

Enjoy

We played basketball together in the back yard growing up.  Sometimes we would play “The Game.”  It was a shooting game we made up that had no name.  It didn’t need one; everyone in the neighborhood knew how to play it.  He was pretty good at it.

Everything happened two years earlier for him.  He got a job two years before I did.  He drove two years before I did.  He graduated two years before I did.  Those two years eventually separated us.  We not only stopped playing “The Game,” we stopped playing all games together.

He joined the Air Force – saw the nation and the world.  I went to college.  I got married and had some children.  He became a loner who would go into dentistry while I went into the more gregarious field of ministry.  Every year we had less and less in common. 

One day he announced that he was moving to England for a couple of years.  We arranged for him to stay nine days with my family before he flew out.  I still don’t know why we arranged this – we hadn’t spent nine days together since high school.  The visit went well.  He played with my children.  He made my daughter “fly” and my son laugh.

Every Tuesday after that visit he would call from England – the same time each week, like clockwork.  This continued for two years and culminated in my visiting him and us trekking through the UK together.  We have taken two vacations together since then.  We talk often, though not every week. 

I have thought about why I am closer now to my brother than I was when we shared a room for fifteen years.  I think the answer is that I grew up.  Immaturity looks for likenesses to receive love from.  Maturity recognizes that love is something that you choose to give away. 

If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20)

I know that the verse above is talking about our brothers (and sisters) in Christ, but I can’t help but think that there are some similarities.  Thoughts?

St. Augustine is sometimes credited for saying, “In essentials – unity, in non-essentials – liberty, and in all things – love.”  It is the second part of that quote that was the focus of the message this morning.  Non-essentials are opinions that Christians hold about their faith, be they practices or beliefs.  There are many instances where we have the option to agree or disagree with a particular belief or practice.  The trick is to not make my opinion a mandate for others.

That being said, there are a few matters of opinion that I would not mind making mandatory.  I know I can’t do this, but wouldn’t it be nice if the following non-essentials were enforced?

• Anyone within arms reach should be able to swat a child who disrespects their parents in public.  Better yet, they should be allowed to swat the parent for allowing the disrespect to happen.
• Premillennial dispensationalists should have to learn to spell “premillennial dispensationalist” before they are allowed to tell you how cool the “Left Behind” books are.
• Men who come to church services wearing clothes that are too tight should be shown the door.
• Preachers are not allowed to use popular phrases that are designed to make them look cool (it just makes them look dorkier anyway).
• Secular songs that remind me of making out with a girlfriend in high school should be banned from church services. 
• People who attend your church once and then proceed to tell you that God has called them to sing in your praise band should be horse whipped. 
• Pretentious Latin phrases should be banned, statim.
• Everyone should be required to smile at least once during the songs, sermon, offering, or communion.  Just once, is that too much to ask?
• Religious clichés should be banned from the presence of those who are truly suffering. 
• Sandals should only be worn by people who care for their toes – this goes for both men and women!
• Older people should keep up with technology.
• Phones that go off during a worship service should be thrown into the baptistery. 

C’mon, I bet you’ve got a few non-essentials of your own.  Let’s here it L-town!

This week the message was on the connection between Unity and Truth.  As always, there is a lot of material that ends up on the cutting room floor.  Some of it is great stuff, but I just can’t find a way to bring it into Sunday morning. 

Since my standards are much lower for you guys, here is some of what did not make it:

“Unitarian Universalism is a caring, open-minded religion that encourages you to seek your own spiritual path. Our faith draws on many religious sources, welcoming people with different beliefs. We are united by shared values, not by creed or dogma.  Explore our website and discover Unitarian Universalism. We invite you to join us.”
www.uua.org/visitors/index.shtml

I didn’t make that up.  It is on their website.  For nearly 200 years Unitarians have believed in . . . pretty much everything.  They have unity right there in their name so you know they will accept pretty much anything. 

Two anecdotes come to mind.  The first is from Garrison Keillor (I love Prairie Home Companion), who tells the story of trying to distract a Unitarian minister by arguing with her.  He complained, “I was unsuccessful.  She just kept agreeing with everything I said.”

From the sublime we turn to the ridiculous.  In a Simpson’s episode, Lisa is at a church ice-cream social and is offered some “Unitarian flavored” ice cream by Rev. Lovejoy.  “It’s just plain vanilla.” Lisa complains.  “Exactly,” responds the reverend. 

Perhaps I enjoy these stories more than I should.  But I believe we should all keep an open mind to humor, especially when it is meant as a commentary and not slander.  And one has to wonder exactly how you define a group that has the inclusion of many (perhaps conflicting) religions as a core value. 

They are united by unity.  Isn’t that like gluing glue to more glue?  “We invite you to join us,” they graciously offer.  I have one question.  JOIN WHAT?

The thing that unites Christians is also right there in the name – Christ.  When you join us at Levittown Christian Church you will be united with a church that recognizes the presence of the Kingdom of God wherever Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior.  And there it is folks - both unity AND truth.

Dear Mrs. Fox and Mrs. Bailey,

Today I send my two children to your classes.  They have anticipated this day for quite some time, though they are not sure exactly what to expect.  They both are very bright students and have a desire to learn and to please their teacher.  With a little encouragement and guidance, their work ethic is fantastic.

You will spend about 180 days with my children for eight hours each school day.  That is over 1,400 hours to teach and influence.  You will get to introduce them to books that I read over twenty years ago and new ones as well.  You will see them interact with peers and watch them grasp new concepts. 

I’m sure that you care about all of your students.  Know that Miles and Nina will care about you too.  You are not just the person who gives assignments and grades papers.  You are the one who shows them what the world outside their home is like and how to live in it.  You are part of a long process by which they mature and prepare to grow into great adults.  They do not know all this yet, but they already feel it.

You have my trust, my thanks, and my cooperation.  Your job is often undervalued and unsupported.  In our home it is neither.  God bless you and your classes this year.  I’m sure it will be great.

Today I gave a message on spiritual warfare and the tactics that Satan uses against us.  His number one tactic is lying and intimidation is his fallback plan.  I’m not going to repeat the message here, but I want to expand on it by listing some of the many lies and threats I have experienced in my life:

1. You are too young to be effective in ministry.
2. You are too old to think about planting a church.
3. That haircut you had in High School was cool
4. It is okay to look at any skin a woman reveals.
5. You will never be able to run a marathon.
6. If your wife leaves then your family and ministry will be destroyed.
7. You need to re-invent the Church.
8. You don’t watch too much TV.
9. If you talk about money your church will hate you.
10. Your children don’t care if you occasionally break your word.
11. You can dance without looking like a dork.
12. You don’t need to memorize Scripture.
13. If you worry about church doctrine you will alienate good people.
14. You pray enough already.
15. People truly care about your FB posts.
16. This dog will only grow to be 55 lbs.
17. Your brother doesn’t care if you call or not.
18. You do not need to forgive him.
19. You should buy a pipe.
20. That story about the water buffalo never gets old.
21. You don’t have an accent.
22. Your reputation can’t survive false accusations.
23. If you drink that beer then you will become a drunk.
24. People will be impressed with two graduate degrees.
25. You will never struggle with pride.