MY NON-ESSENTIALS
St. Augustine is sometimes credited for saying, “In essentials – unity, in non-essentials – liberty, and in all things – love.” It is the second part of that quote that was the focus of the message this morning. Non-essentials are opinions that Christians hold about their faith, be they practices or beliefs. There are many instances where we have the option to agree or disagree with a particular belief or practice. The trick is to not make my opinion a mandate for others.
That being said, there are a few matters of opinion that I would not mind making mandatory. I know I can’t do this, but wouldn’t it be nice if the following non-essentials were enforced?
• Anyone within arms reach should be able to swat a child who disrespects their parents in public. Better yet, they should be allowed to swat the parent for allowing the disrespect to happen.
• Premillennial dispensationalists should have to learn to spell “premillennial dispensationalist” before they are allowed to tell you how cool the “Left Behind” books are.
• Men who come to church services wearing clothes that are too tight should be shown the door.
• Preachers are not allowed to use popular phrases that are designed to make them look cool (it just makes them look dorkier anyway).
• Secular songs that remind me of making out with a girlfriend in high school should be banned from church services.
• People who attend your church once and then proceed to tell you that God has called them to sing in your praise band should be horse whipped.
• Pretentious Latin phrases should be banned, statim.
• Everyone should be required to smile at least once during the songs, sermon, offering, or communion. Just once, is that too much to ask?
• Religious clichés should be banned from the presence of those who are truly suffering.
• Sandals should only be worn by people who care for their toes – this goes for both men and women!
• Older people should keep up with technology.
• Phones that go off during a worship service should be thrown into the baptistery.
C’mon, I bet you’ve got a few non-essentials of your own. Let’s here it L-town!
September 21st, 2009 at 10:04 pm
First off people who go to lunch should have wallet—essential.
and you promised you weren’t gonna tell anyone I wanted to joint
the praise band….
September 21st, 2009 at 11:01 pm
*Once the sermon slides are entered into Song Show Plus, they should not be edited, added to or rearranged in any way.
*If the preacher hands last minute changes to the secretary, he should buy her expensive gifts to make up for the stress.
*Guys who wear girlish colors should not be allowed to come up with color names to make themselves feel better. It’s not manly melon or faded red. It’s pink, wear it with pride!
*Younger people who think that the older folk have nothing to teach them should be sent off to a nursing home themselves.
*Anyone making negative comments about how the band sounded should be forced to do an interpretive dance the following Sunday.
*Preachers should never be allowed to dance.